Happy Friday y’all!

I skipped the last couple weeks due to festivities. I had the great pleasure of turning 50 with my family and about 30 of my dearest friends from days of yore and even some of our East Coast pals that made the journey across country, deep into the hills of Northern California, to the hidden lake where Mandy and I got married 16 years and one week ago from today.

I truly couldn’t have had a better time in any parallel universe. Solid time with family I rarely get to see followed by a 4 day party in the redwoods on a private lake, where we laughed, feasted, sang, danced, and swam, and laughed some more. I don’t think I talked about farming or anything serious for 1 minute the whole time. It was a collection of people from as far back as when I was 10 years old, through elementary school, high school, college, my wandering searching 20s, and time farming in my 30s and 40s. The folks that made me laugh the most and had good hearts. Some of ‘em had been out of contact for the better part of 20 years, but I just wrote ’em and said “I love you. It’s been too long. I’m getting old. Let’s have some fun about it.” And they came. And they left their kids at home. And we zoomed into a good time like adults rarely get to do. Play is important for mental health. It’s good for the soul. Play is a state of mind that loosens the hips of the mind. You unclench a bit. Your lungs fill up more easily. The corners of your mouth are less affected by gravity. Your shoulders drop. It’s just good for you.

Kids get absorbed in play. As young adults, some of us were fortunate enough to curate that in our friend groups. The type of experience where you are fully immersed. You are collectively in a flow state of making each other laugh. Around a campfire singing or in costumes dancing at a party or festival. You aren’t thinking about a laundry list of responsibilities. You are fully present and deeply enjoying your time.

The further you get from your early adulthood, the further you find yourself from those experiences. Your gatherings are squeezed into mutual gaps on Google Calendar and immediately upon gathering, you’re speaking of your work problems, physical ailments, family illnesses, thinking about how you gotta get back to the dogs, the kids, or to fix that pipe that just busted, or reply to that work email, or just get your tired ass to bed.

I’m not dismissing those gatherings. It’s great to gather, especially when it's hard. It shows you care enough for each other that you wanna make time despite the difficulties in doing so, and the conversations provide emotional support for the challenges of older life we’re all facing.

But….. you can feel everyone’s foot out the door……walking its way back to the list of responsibilities. We squeeze tiny bits of social time into a bulging list of responsibilities that consume our waking (and sleeping) hours. People might still come by once in awhile. But, the party ends early. You’re the only one left dancing under the disco ball after midnight. Still smiling, but alone.

The only way around that is to remove people from as much of “real life” as you can so they have no choice but to tap in. So I brought these folks out of reception, to a literal paradise, away from work, away from responsibility, too remote to even consider heading home for the evening, stacked the deck with fun-loving people, made sure they had beds, and Mandy and I (major emphasis on the Mandy) set up meals, a full bar, lighting, PA system, good tunes, and had all kinds of good mojo happening all day and night, every day and night. Dock sitting, guitar by the campfire, karaoke, dancing, boating, hiking in the redwoods, and 2 nights of Aslyn’s (Comer Coffee owner and world traveling professional musician) impromptu piano bar where we had a room full of super smiley folks bellowing at the top of their lungs together to old favorites. It felt like we were plopped smack dab into a scene from an old movie. Thank you for that Aslyn (I think you still read this). And thank you to all the good peeps who came and made it so fun (if any of you read this), and thank you a million times over Mandy (you have to proofread this). What an incredibly sweet and generous gift you gave me through all the work you put into making this happen….and the endless good humor you had throughout the whole trip. Talk about gracefully executed party hosting. Never seen anything like it. You are literally the best.

We padded that lake trip on either side with visits to some of our favorite spots and with some of our favorite people in Northern CA. It was beautiful. The weather was perfect. Our hearts were filled. I literally could not have had a better birthday or a better trip.

The farm is quieter for the summer. We are working on dahlias, finishing up mums, cutting eleagnus, fixing broken stuff, planning for fall and spring, and looking for our lost dog. Poor Mandy is out right now putting up flyers and speaking to everyone within a 5 mile radius. If you’re local, let us know if you see “Momma Dog”. She nursed litter after litter in the neighborhood (hence the name) until she hid out inside our fence and raised her last one 5 years back. We had her fixed after that and she’s stayed by Mandy’s side ever since. Tons of gunfire ran her off last Saturday and she didn’t come back. Very unlike her. She’s older and not prone to wandering. Sorry to end a treatise on fun with a cold slap of life’s heavier stuff, but that’s how life deals it.

Nevertheless, I encourage you to make time for playfulness in your life. The muscles atrophy. You might have to stretch 'em out a bit first. You need to be responsible, but you can do that 99% of the time and just save 1% of your life for some real good fun. It’s medicine.

Be well y’all and have a good weekend.

Steve